So, I haven't posted here in a while. It's because I really have no need for this journal anymore, because all my problems have been solved. I explained it on my real-life journal (I think?) but I figured I'd do it here, too, just for kicks.
I've realized that I hate weddings. At first it was all fairydust and funtime, and then I started to budget. And worry. And mess myself up over things that are SO TRIVIAL. I must've spent $50 on bridal magazines--which, by the way, all had the same articles over and over again, about dresses that were way too expensive, and the ugly shoes to go with them, and the "perfect" million-dollar honeymoon--not to mention all the hours of writing down notes and SHOPPING FOR UGLY DRESSES.
I just don't understand how people have been made to believe that the "ideal" wedding is what you see in movies and TV. Whatever happened to not being able to buy happiness? And, for that matter, what makes your wedding so special if it's just like everyone else's? Sure, you change the colors to make it "personal", and you monogram those $5 napkins with your own personal initials... But in reality, it's going to be the least personal and original day of your life, no matter how much you think you're changing it up.
So I thought, I could use that money for something good. And I'm going to. Instead of wasting $15,000 minimum, we're going to get married in Philadelphia, in Steve's family's ginormous house. My mother is sewing my wedding dress in just the way I like it--we bought all the materials for it during a sale at JoAnn's, for less than $75. I've had Halloween costumes cost more than that. XD We're forgoing the "officiant"--because, really, who wants someone they don't know to spout a bunch of nonsense about their relationship?--which will save us about $500, and instead reciting our own vows to each other and in front of people we love (we'll get married on paper at an undisclosed time and location XD). For dinner, we'll have pizza and salad and soda--our favorites, and not going to break the bank. Who doesn't like pizza? (Well, Jack, but he's weird and we can get him something else ;) I may even try my hand at making my own wedding cake. This means we can spend money where it counts--maybe photography, or jewelery, or Steve's suit (all of which will last, unlike flowers or fancy food).
And, most importantly, this means we can turn the most selfish and money-wasting day of our lives into a day for giving, and donate $5000 to charity.
For my wedding, I want to be relaxed--I don't want to have some kind of breakdown because the caterer is late, or the flowers are the wrong color--I want to be with the people I love, and I don't want to have any regrets.
So, yesterday morning I dragged Steve out to the Running of the Brides (the bi-annual bridal event at Filene's Basement http://filenesbasement.com/master.html
I felt pretty discouraged, both because nothing fit me and because there was nothing I really liked. I also seem to have been filmed by a documentary camerawoman in an awkward position whilst struggling with ass-end of some froofy concoction. It was pretty damn hilarious, but I don't know if it'll add into my fifteen minutes of fame or not.
After that, I started looking for dresses online again, and accidentally found that I quite like the taste of Japanese designers, which sucks for me ;D More and more I'm thinking I'll just go with a China bridal shop on eBay for cheap. 'Cause nothing says "best day of my life" like "90% off" ;D
Everyone is trying to cheat me. It's really frustrating and it really pisses me off. I find myself saying "$2000? That's not a lot at all, is it?" when
TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS
No matter what. I don't care if it's for a piece of toast or a big-screen TV, $2000 is money we could use to live. In fact, $2000, my "not a lot of money" is for renting a hall for the reception. For 6 hours. Last time I checked, I pay $1100--for those of you not doing math, that's $900 LESS--to rent my apartment for a month. Even this month, with only 28 days, that's 672 hours. That's 666 hours more for $900 less. Something is not adding up.
I hate weddings.
So I finally found a David's Bridal that had the damn dress ;D I coerced Jim into driving me there so I could try it on, and had a pretty horrible experience (go figure!) with the staff ;D (actually, it wasn't too bad, but I got bored, into a fight with Steve, and scolded by a salesperson)
(x-posted to a community XD)
I'm having a sort of dress dilemma. I'm not big on the trying on dresses thing anymore... XD In any case, there's a dress I want and a dress that looks good on me. Which should I pick? Will I regret not getting the one that I thought was prettier, or will I look at my pictures and think I look stupid? How much can I bank on losing a bit of weight and looking better (my wedding is still 14 months away)? Should I give up on both of these and wait and hope I like one better? Please help. =/
( pictures of the dresses in questionCollapse )
Turns out Steve has asked two of his groomsmen, and decided on his best man, though not asked him yet. That's good.
David's Bridal still doesn't have the dress I want. That's not good.
Tickets and hotel for NYC in March booked. I'm feeling mixed about that, but I think it will turn out good in the end. Trying to look for cheap venues and cheap caterers and things...it's starting to make my head spin. I should've been doing more planning and calling during my break, I think...
Right now I'm watching Bridezillas on the WE channel. This makes me hate people. I realized I'm sick of princesses. Who doesn't want a fucking fairytale wedding? Well, now it's me. I want a pretty wedding. I want a wedding I like. I don't want to pretend I'm some sort of prom-queen castle freak. No tiaras. Jeweled headbands okay. No castles. No jesters or trumpets or whatever the fuck. I'd say no horses, but we had a fun horse ride for our big date in NYC and I don't want to give it up so easy... XD Maybe no white horses. I don't want to pretend to be a princess, I want to be me...except pretty ;D And preferably skinny.
I guess this is kind of weird, considering my costume fetish. But...on my wedding day, I want to feel like myself. And I'm a princess 'cause my boyfriend treats me like one, not 'cause I bought a bunch of stuff to feel like one. ^__^
I forgot to mention my latest wedding excursion, but it was a bust anyhow, so... XD A couple days after Christmas I went out shopping with Mihoshi and Sam and my mommmm... We hit a bazillion stores and tried on a bazillion dresses, but they were all eh. I quite liked one, but it wasn't as good as the one I want at @#$%ing David's Bridal, which I still haven't been contacted about. XD
So lately I've been thinking about money again. Like I told Crystalchan yesterday, I feel like I'm planning an imaginary wedding with my imaginary money. I don't want to go into debt over this, but it seems like that's the only thing we can do... And at the moment, we don't have any money saved up that we can use, like, at all. Not enough for a dress, not enough for a reception deposit, not enough for a friggin' corsage and whatnot.
I've asked all my bridesmaids except for one, and Steve has NOT asked any of his groomsment, EVEN THOUGH they were ALL in Philadelphia with us and I told him to do it then. ><;;
We're planning a trip to NYC in March, so we can scout out ceremony sites and possibly visit some reception halls and stuff. So far not feeling too good about it.
Haven't been doing much of anything lately, anyhow. Just dress shopping. Going to need to send out Save-the-date cards in Maaarchhh... Rar.
Today we went shopping for dresses. Well, really we went to try on one specific dress. I saw an ad for it in Brides magazine, it's a David's Bridal dress, but for this dress I'm willing to take the DB risk ><;; Anyhow, it turns out they don't have it in yet because it's brand new. WHY WOULD YOU PUT OUT ADVERTISEMENTS OF A DRESS YOU DON'T HAVE YET?! It's maddening XD So I tried on some others, but didn't really like them too much. Rar. They said none of the DB in the country have this damn dress in yet, but they'll try to call me when it comes in, which should be soon-ish.
Mom brought up again that she wants us to have the wedding here. I just don't know what to do. Steve really doesn't want to, I fairly don't want to... But I'd do it to make mom happy, but there's no way Steve would do that. Every time I bring it up, he gives reasons we can't do it and then says he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want mom to be upset. She said "Well, I won't bug you about it anymore", but I know it will still bother her... But we don't have the money to do two weddings or whatever X__X
Okay, so I haven't been doing a lot of weddingy things lately, because school has been really hard and I've been pretty damn sick. Sent some more emails and got really discouraged about prices of everything.
Last Saturday when my mom was in town, we went dress shopping. We went out late, and I was sick, and we only went to one shop--on Newbury Street. (At first they wouldn't let us try anything because we didn't make an appointment, but there was someone free and we asked nice 'cause mom had to go back to Michigan after the weekend.) Tried on about...8-10 dresses, I think. The first dress I tried on was awesome, and ended up being my favorite of them all. If that was my wedding dress I really wouldn't be disappointed. The disappointing thing is that obviously they were all designer dresses. The one I liked best (you can see it on page...400 I think? Of November-December's Brides magazine ;D) is about $3000. The one I liked second best is also about that much.
Now, at first I thought I wouldn't mind spending that much money on the dress, because having a big poofy wedding dress has always been a dream of mine. When we set out to budget I thought "I'm going to budget myself a lot of money for the dress". But the more I think about it...it's just a dress. I'm only going to wear it for one day. And depending on how the hell much it's going to cost for people to come to our wedding and for us to feed them and stuff, probably not that many people are going to see me in it.
So...now what? I looked online for cheaper options, but... Mostly it's stuff from David's Bridal. I do not want to deal with David's Bridal, no matter what. No bridesmaid dresses, no accessories, no anything because they are freaking crazy.
So where should I draw the line? $500? $1000? Or is $3000 still within range?
I just...cringe to think. We could buy 10 IPODS for that much money.
So, today I've been looking at prices of things and it's ridiculously expensive. Now we're considering doing Philly instead of NYC. But that makes me feel kind of sad, so I dunno... My mom is pushing for Michigan and I don't really want to get married there, and I know Steve definitely doesn't.
I'm really confused. =/ I want the "ooh" factor of the NYC skyline, but do I want it for $20k?
Also, my mom admitted ealier that she would help with paying, but I'd feel bad...but on the other hand, we could use the money. So I'm confused about that, too.
When they say getting married ruins your life, they're totally serious. I spend way too much time reading wedding-y things when I should be doing my homework, and if I continue at this rate I'll be swamped in magazines and failing grades.... Okay, it's not that bad yet, but... OMFG MAKE ME STOP ;D
So, Steve's family doesn't want us to have a big "posh" wedding. I'm not sure what this means. What I do know, however, is that however much money I end up spending, I'm going to feel bad. Steve wants to have a nice wedding because he knows I want to have a nice wedding. But really he'd just settle for getting married the good ol' justice of the peace in the clerk's office or whatever way. Every dollar I spend is another we could've used to travel, or buy a new TV, or pay the rent...
I mean, why do I want to get married anyway? I wanted a nice ring to show off, but now I've got that. We already live together, share a bank account, have a cat... Our lifestyle is pretty much married life already. I do want to change my name, but I'd change my name to anything in order to escape this "Bass? Boss? Boz?" business. What's left? Having children? Honeymoon? Cookware?
Anyway, we've gotten an engagement present from our friend Jess ;D She gave us a sorely-needed CANDLE LIGHTER, so we don't set fire to all of our many fingers while trying to light birthday candles anymore ;D If only we'd gotten engaged before the October/November birthday rush ;D
Also, today we're going to join a health club. Partially because we're fat, but also because I'm in such bad shape I'm not sure I can walk down any aisle without getting out of breath... ;D